Weigh-In #12

Today's weight: 238 (-2 from last week, -27 overall)

I'm in the 230s. Holy crap. Today I've found new inspiration to get more serious about my eating habits and workouts. No more half-assing. I want to get to 40 pounds by my birthday. At this rate I think it will happen, but I need to stay focused.

Weigh-In #11

Today's Weight: 240 (-2 from last week, -25 total)

Tipping the Wagon

So I have been really weak the past week. Not only was I beginning to get lenient with my food intake, but this week I've been tired, getting a cold, and constantly in situations with copious amounts of free, unhealthy food. When I first began my new lifestyle I found these situations not at all a challenge. Now, not so much. I'm so grateful spring break is this week so i can rest and get myself back on track.

I may postpone my weigh in this week or just not do it at all. I really need to cleanse and revamp and keep going. More soon.

Weigh-In #10

Today's Weight: 242 (-2 from last week, -23 total)

Been getting tough these days as indulgences are more difficult to resist. But, the numbers keep dropping, so ahead I will keep going. :-)

Weigh-In #9

Today's Weight: 244 (-3 from last week, -21 total)

I am so amazed. I thought for sure I was done for this week. I've said it 1000 times: this kind of lifestyle, if you stick with it all the time, even if you do fuck it up on occasion, you are still going to get results. It is so encouraging!!!!!!

Onward!!!!

Carb Central

Hahahahahha. I can't help but laugh as this week has just been a mess. My schedule at school is off the wall, so unfortunately my eating and exercise has suffered as well. The biggest problem was the peanut butter cake I made for my recording buddies on Saturday. I haven't had any uncontrollable sweet cravings for a while, but for some reason, that cake sitting on my counter was irresistible - weakness ensued and I ended up eating far more cake than I should have over the span of two days. I believe the combination of stress and lack of sleep makes me crave unhealthy carbs.

The good news is that the cake is gone, I have managed to get to the gym two times this week (and hopefully a third tomorrow), and have been eating only broccoli to compensate for my carb madness from the beginning of the week. I don't know how this will affect the scale on Sunday, but honestly I am really not concerned. My focus is on surviving this week and getting done what I need to get done. Let's hope I do! ;-)

Weigh-In #8

Today's Weight: 247 (-2 from last week, -18 total)

hells yeah! Alllllmost at 20 pounds. For sure will get there next week. Very exciting times. Really it's all very easy now - no thought, just do it.

I have to confess that yesterday I had a piece of chicken. I made my infamous baked chicken for my friends and I decided, you know what, I want a goddamn piece of chicken. So I ate it. And it was frickin awesome!! :^)

Weigh-In #7

Today's Weight: 249 (-3 from last week, -16 total)

Woohoo! This is a really huge milestone for me as I have no idea when I was ever below 250 pounds. Middle school maybe? I cannot describe how inspiring it is to get this news. I am going to make an attempt to be exceptionally psychotic this week as I am four pounds away from the 20 mark. I have made a pact that once I hit 20 pounds, I will go and buy some new clothes. Already everything I'm wearing is hanging off of me. If I can push forward and hit 245 next week, not only will I feel amazing, I will have an excuse to go shopping.

Onward!

Doubt

And not the kind with Meryl Streep. I have had a really good week: no meltdowns, no craving battles, no shenanigans. I got to the gym three times this week (our schedule was a mess and didn't allow me to get there for the usual 4 times). Still, I am somehow concerned about this week's numbers. I desperately want to get below the 250 mark - it only requires three pounds, which is a pretty reliable number considering my track record. But for some reason I've been feeling at a bit of a plateau - like no matter what I do I'm not going to get past 250. If this week's results are less than what I hoped, I will pay a visit to the nutritionist and see what I might be able to do. I have noticed that at this stage how much I eat and WHEN I eat it are both tremendous factors in terms of numbers.

I know full well that being obsessed with the scale is not necessarily the best way to maintain a diet. For me, seeing the results on the scale and being able to say "I've lost __ pounds" has been a really important tool for keeping myself motivated. Luckily I have kept going strong through these past two weeks, but being so deeply devoted and seeing no documentable results gets increasingly more frustrating.

We shall see what tomorrow brings!

Weigh-In #6

Today's Weight: 252 (-1 from last week, -13 total)

Well, I am relieved to see that I made at least some progress. I had some serious digestive issues caused by my bread episode. Had I caught the issue sooner, I may have been able to overcome it and lose another pound, but it is how it is. I'm grateful to be back on track and feeling healthy again. I look forward to an ass-kicking week.

Woot!!

Wow

So this has officially been a rough week. The good news is I've overcome my intense cravings and am feeling good about continuing on this path I've carved. The bad news is I have little hope for any good news from the scale this Sunday. The funny thing is that knowing how much I've struggled this week, I made it a point to go to the gym every single weekday and likely I will go out of my way to go tomorrow. And really it's not as if I've done anything really stupid like visited McDonald's or drank a soda. Just a few glitches in my food choices.

One of the reason I'm feeling so pessimistic about the scale is that I've come to take notice of how I feel when eating very well: light, free, and clear. Since my epic French bread episode on Wednesday, I've been feeling clogged and bloated. I've been trying to counteract for the past few days with steamed broccoli, kidney beans, and just this evening a new batch of pea soup, but I'm still feeling rather backed up. I believe this to also be a product of not allowing myself to get hungry before eating. Tomorrow I am going to take it very lightly and be sure to get in some exercise. We'll see what happens come Sunday. I'm just glad that I'm still on the right track and am fully prepared to keep going no matter what Sunday brings.

Here's hopin'!

(I feel like this is SO intense - like a reality TV show. lol)

Attack of the French Bread

Today I stopped at the VONS on the way home from class. I was feeling in need of iron, so I planned to buy some broccoli and have just it steamed for dinner. As I entered the supermarket and made my way towards the produce section, I noticed that a woman from the bakery was standing beside a tall cart... then it hit me... she was taking loaves of hot, freshly baked french bread and putting them into a basket to be sold. Dear sweet god. I proceeded to the produce section, hungry and weak, trying to stay focused on my mission. I let myself get too hungry and so was tired and ravenous having just come from the gym. I rushed to the nuts section and found some almonds to munch on so I could subside my hunger and regain control.... a futile effort. I got to the cashier and there it was, the basket of bread, hot and fresh. I bought the loaf. I began eating it in the car. I rushed in the door of my apartment and implored my roommate to help me eat it. He was immediately fallen under its spell. I put together some seasoned olive oil and there, within 20 minutes of purchase, the entire loaf was annihilated. Epic fail. But so worth it.

Rough Patch?

It's only Tuesday, but for some reason I'm finding this week to be the hardest. It's as if all of the food I've been consuming has suddenly become unsatisfying. The results and the potential somehow seem to no longer be enough motivation. What's worse I'm beginning to resent those who eat all those delicious things like cheeseburgers and fried chicken that I have removed myself from.

I honestly am really surprised to be feeling this way since the past four weeks have felt so good and have shown what tremendous results can come from living such a pure lifestyle. It really is so liberating in so many ways, yet somehow I am still plagued by the temptresses of my past life. Not surprising since I spent 26 years living in such a lifestyle. There is so much comfort and memory built in to so many dishes that can't be a part of my everyday life any more, and I think that is finally starting to hit home. Also being such an avid cook and baker, there are so many ingredients and flavors that are no longer available to me, which I find frustrating and even depressing.

Despite this surge of feeling, I remind myself that I never vowed to remain in such a die hard state of vegetarianism/health nut. That eventually I would incorporate meat and even some dairy back into my life, if only in carefully planned intervals and portions. But I did vow that I would stay die hard for at least 3 if not 4 months to lose the bulk of my weight and then if I still wanted to incorporate other things back into my diet, I would. I didn't expect to be feeling a surge like this so soon. I don't yet feel ready to start eating meat or dairy again - I planned to get to at least 20 pounds before even considering it.

My tactic is this:

1. I will not under any circumstances have a melt down and jump off the wagon
2. I am going to stick through this week and if I am still feeling this way next week I will reassess and see what I can modify in my diet that will still allow me to keep going
3. I am also going to make an effort to continue my reading and learning in an attempt to bring back motivation and expel myself from this mental rut.

I have made a lot of progress, but I still have a long way to go. I need to just work through this patch and keep on going. Here's hopin!

Cravings

Today I had a private lesson and I swear, for whatever reason, the entire time all I could think about was chicken. Grilled chicken, fried chicken, baked chicken... it was kind of ridiculous. This was definitely my first psychotic craving episode. It's a little scary since I'm determined to keep on my current war path for at least another month before I start giving myself any leeway to incorporate the occasional portion of meat back into my diet. Luckily my sense of routine led me right to my usual lunch of a veggie sub from Subway, so there were no casualties today, but even as I type this I'm beginning to think of how great it would be to have a nice slab of grilled chicken... dammit..

Weigh-In #5

Today's Weight: 253 (-3 from last week, -12 overall)

Today marks the fourth full week of my new lifestyle, and as you can see, the results speak for themselves. Twelve pounds in one month is pretty fantastic, and honestly, it just makes me want to keep going. If I can continue this for 3 more months, I'll pretty much be at one of my goals, which is 50 pounds. In all honesty, I really would love to see myself reach below 200 pounds, even if it's 197, just to see what that would look and feel like. One step at a time, though. ;-)

Also I feel I want to say that I've been in this position before. When I was in my last year of undergrad I dropped 10 pounds and felt great, but for one reason or another I jumped off the wagon and didn't go any further. This time around I feel completely committed. I can't wait to make my next week's total 15 pounds!

Snacky

I come from a very long line of snackers. Always growing up, particularly at my aunt's, there would be an endless flow of cheese and crackers, peanuts, cheez-its, chex mix, etc. We're a snacking kind of family. And let's face it, America is a snacking kind of society.

I noticed over the last few days that I am more tempted to eat unnecessarily when I am at home for extended periods of time, i.e. when I'm composing and doing school work. It seems that being busy and active is crucial for maintaining sound eating habits. The good news is that if you plan accordingly and you fill your house with good things to eat, chances are all the snacking will become negligible (think carrot sticks instead of beef jerky). You'll notice in previous posts I was freaking out about overeating due to too many nuts, etc. The truth is, it's all good stuff I'm eating, and as long as I'm not going totally overboard, it's fine.

Also it's very important for me to carry good foods with me to snack on during the day. Nothing worse than being caught somewhere completely starving, surrounded only by poor choices. Bad news.

As you are probably noticing, this is all just one elaborate balancing act. So far I have encountered no disasters. We'll see what the scale brings this week.

Embracing Hunger

This post came to me tonight when I was eating a bowl of sweet potatoes and roasted vegetables and realized that I wasn't at all hungry.

I've said many times in this blog that I never go hungry. And that is true. But, one of the motivating factors for me to embark on this mission was that I felt horribly clogged and stuffed at all times. This happened because I would gorge myself when I felt even the slightest twinge of hunger or notion of eating. I've discovered that allowing myself to feel a bit hungry feels good.

Now before anyone freaks out: no, I am not starving myself; no, I am not anorexic; no, I am not using hunger as some twisted device for losing weight. All I'm saying is that I don't need to be full and/or eating all the time, and in only eating when I am actually truly hungry, I am reminded of the progress being made. This is particularly true at bed time - I like getting into bed feeling that my stomach is a bit empty. It's pretty common knowledge that eating just before bed is very bad since our bodies will cleanse and expel when we're sleeping. If there is food in the stomach, that effort is going to go to digestion rather than dealing with what is already there. More importantly, I can't think of a worse feeling than waking up in the morning after having consumed fast food or an egregious dessert at 1am the night before. It's like being pregnant with a rock baby.

The point to all of this is that I feel the best when I am eating numerous small meals throughout the day. I never allow myself to become ravenously hungry as that is when my worst cravings tempt me (refer to my last post). But I also never allow myself to get very full. Even though I'm eating mostly vegetables, there are times when I don't need to eat a ginormous bowl of them... so I don't! It's important for me that I feel in control of myself and not a slave to my appetite.

I think this can be applied to anyone anywhere: reserve eating only for when you are truly hungry.

Omg

I want three fucking big macs. That is all.

Weigh-In #4

Today's Weight: 256 (-3 from last week, -9 total)

This morning's weigh-in was taken on my shiny new digital scale. Now I don't know if today's number includes error correction, that is, if my readings all along from my analog scale have been slightly off, but from what I can tell it's all pretty close, so let's just go with it.

Woohoo!

Reiteration of why this is such a good thing:

• These 9 pounds were lost without depriving my body of anything needs (like carbohydrates), without starving, and without eating anything I didn't want to. I just simply chose to stop eating shit and to exercise regularly. That's it.
• This weight was lost WITHOUT being perfect. Usually once per week I would eat white rice or something sweet or what have you and it did not impede my weight loss at all.

I also can say that all my worries in the last post are totally irrelevant. I think I was getting a little carried away. Further proof that perfection isn't imperative.

Onward!

Nuts

So I've been thinking. Here I am, I've given up all meat, I'm not drinking milk, I'm not eating cheese or eggs, I'm consuming only whole grain organic products for carbs, and the only things I allow myself to even come close to cheating with are nuts and the occasional scoop of peanut butter. This, combined with my near daily exercise (I end up skipping one day a week by circumstance, not choice), means I should be losing weight. Period. Lately I've been feeling more full than usual, which leads me to believe I am not eating as well as I could be, which further leads me to believe I am slowing up my weight loss.

For one, I think that portions are still a culprit for me. I believe my intake of bread could be a bit more than is needed. I also think that nuts may be the culprit. I keep almonds on hand in case I get snacky, but this week I also have honey roasted peanuts. Both can be fine in a small amount, but nuts are crafty in that while they have many good, heart-healthy qualities, they also carry a considerable number of calories that can really add up when eaten by the casual handful. I tend to visit the jar more often than I should and eat more than I should when I do.

My plan for next week is to cut out the peanuts, and also cut out the loaf of multigrain bread I have been using to supplement my breakfast and dinner.

I also want to report that I've made a batch of Tzatziki sauce using low fat organic yogurt. While it is dairy, the enzymes in yogurt are supposedly very good for digestion and can aid in weight loss. And we're talking about a couple of tablespoons on my pita at lunch and that's about it. We'll see what the scale says this Sunday.

"Cheating"

For some reason I've been finding myself a lot more snacky this week. Whether it be because I've settled into this new lifestyle or I've gotten over the initial rush and am just now more aware of my hunger, it is a dangerous thing. No matter how good one eats in any given week, it can all be totally skewed by overindulging in poorly-chosen snacks. As I've stated before, I have no self control, so it is especially important for me to keep nothing but healthy things on hand lest I fill up on badness. My artillery for this particular battle consists usually of almonds, sunflower seeds, carrots, and radishes.

It is also important to be prepared for particularly weak moments. For me this often comes in the evening when I'm craving something sweet. My secret weapon is peanut butter, 1-2 tablespoons. Either by the spoonful or smeared on some whole wheat organic toast. I also this week have some honey roasted peanuts in my cabinet, which can quench the sweet tooth while adding some good proteins and fats. Sticking to small small amounts, one can achieve the thrill of cheating without actually cheating. Though for me, I think I will steer away from peanuts as suddenly one can find they have inadvertently eaten half the can.

Also I was thinking on what I ate today and I realized that the reason I am hungry is likely that I had only pea soup and a slice of bread for dinner - perhaps not nearly substantial enough for a dinner. I have to remember that it is wise to fill up on as much good food at dinner so that I'm not tempted to pick at things throughout the evening. Snacking and munching is a disease that runs rampant in my family, but it can be overcome. ;-)

Weigh-In #3

Today's weight: 259 (-2 from last week, -6 total)

So, not as much as last week, but still progress. I think I need to watch my portions when it comes to bread/whole grains. It's really easy to get into the mind set of "oh, it's whole grain and organic, I can have 12 slices" - not so much. Vegetables can be eaten in endless quantities, but the bread, rice, etc, need to be carefully portioned. Taking into consideration my confessions of last week, I will strive to lose 3 pounds this week. It's true, I'm doing this more for my health than anything, but the weight loss definitely plays a part in keeping me motivated as it lets me stay involved and on target.

I should also point that this morning when I got on my scale, it first said 258 lbs, then I got off and got back on again and it said 260 lbs. Befuddled, I took the difference of the two and bought a new, digital scale from Amazon to begin using immediately.

Onward!!

Classes Conquered

So I was a bit nervous about maintaining my current levels of exercise, intake, and enthusiasm with the onset of our 150-credit course load. I was pleased to find it to be fairly easy. Lunch is a cinch because the international food court across the street has a place called "health hut" where they have made-to-order salads for $5, served with whole wheat pita bread. Provided, of course, that one actually makes it to this restaurant and not the Korean barbeque joint. In addition, there is a Subway, which has very tasty veggie subs on fresh whole wheat bread that make for a very friendly lunch.

As for exercise, I found myself bringing gym clothes with me so that either before or after class I could just bop over to the gym and haul my fat ass onto an elliptical machine for 30 minutes, which feels really good and works up a healthy sweat. Also, being that my group has a tendency to behave like lemmings, I'm slowly infecting my classmates with the desire to workout. I have a hunch that within the next week or two I'll have a steady gym buddy, if not two or three. I also have been diligent about packing snacks - sunflower seeds, almonds, etc, to keep my appetite at bay between meals.

I've also been thinking about the next weigh-in coming up tomorrow (is it me, or am I starting to sound like The Biggest Loser?). I have indeed been very good this week, still no meat, no dairy, no eggs. I introduced some new things this week including hummus, sunflower seeds, and a homemade pea soup.

Confessions for this week:

• I used a sprinkle of grated Romano cheese in every bowl of pea soup
• I ate a small piece of Gingerbread I made last night with icing. Yum.
• I ate a bow of vegetable Ramen at a noodle shop in Little Tokyo
• I have not given up butter

In addition to this, the one thing I do find difficult while at school is maintaining a healthy level of non-hunger throughout the day. We have classes in large chunks and it's difficult to get a healthy snack/mini meal at proper intervals. Consequently, I came home more than once being very very hungry. And while I didn't binge on bad foods, I still ate more than I normally would have and in some cases at a much later hour. I'm curious to see if the combination of all these things add up to losing less weight this week. Soon we shall see.

Finally I want to report that for the past few days I've been feeling slightly.... clogged. The only thing I can think of that would have caused this is the bowl of Ramen noodles I ate on Thursday night. I of course got the vegetarian option, but they were most definitely not organic whole wheat noodles. Hopefully it will be cleared out by weigh-in tomorrow...

Pea Soup!!

Tonight I made my first batch of Pea Soup (thanks Alton Brown). It is heavenly, though I have to say I think it would be even more heavenly had I made it with chicken broth and not vegetable. Still, it's quite yummy, and I also added some barley to the soup after pureeing, just to give something more to chew on. Not only is it delicious, I'm fairly certain the calorie value is negative. Yet another victory for vegetarianism.

Temptation

So it happened today. For the first time I was tempted to jump off the wagon. It was a combination of things. First and foremost, I let myself get too hungry. I waited until after lunch when my stomach was fairly empty to go on a walk. When I got back I was feeling hungry, which progressively got bigger as time went by. On top of that, my roommate began cooking his own dinner, which happened to be shells and cheese (Whole Foods brand), a particular weakness of mine. In that moment, I wanted to eat three fucking boxes of that shit. I am proud to say that it did not happen. I did in fact have two spoonfuls, and then I returned to eating my steamed broccoli and roasted sweet potatoes. A serious victory.

Now some might turn the blame to the roommate, but let's be serious, we are surrounded by unhealthy choices everyday. But that is just the point - they are CHOICES. Bless my roommate's heart, he did ask if he should refrain from discussing meat, etc. I said absolutely not. He should eat and talk about whatever he wants. It's my decision to adopt this lifestyle and if I can't hold it together, it's my issue. Hell, I can't shut out the world just because I need to restore my health.

Tomorrow I'm doing a spinning class at the gym. You may never hear from me again.

Weigh-In #2

Today's Weight: 261 (-4 from last week)

So this is encouraging. Four pounds is pretty impressive, considering I continued to eat carbs (good carbs), and even indulged in the occasional scoop of peanut butter. Though it is also true that I ate no meat, no dairy, no refined starches/carbohydrates, and ate only when I was hungry. I have never once felt desperate, nor have I ever felt unsatisfied or in dire need of anything. Yes, the smell of cooking meat is very tempting, but not yet to the point of making me want to break down and eat it.

Though the news of my weight loss is exciting, I am not letting myself be carried away with it. Such a drastic lifestyle change is bound to cause some immediate results, but I don't expect them to continue so significantly, nor do I honestly expect to remain so diligent with my eating and walking in the coming weeks (though I will try). Also it is important to remember that my main goal here is not weight loss, but to improve my health and feel like I'm taking care of myself. I see losing weight as a pleasant bonus and a means of keeping me inspired.

This week will be a serious test as classes are starting again. It is really going to take a certain amount of determination and planning to keep up my daily exercise. Food intake should not be a problem as I will make sure I'm attending classes armed with healthy snacks and will be sure to eat veggie subs from Subway for lunch or salads from the Salad Hut.

I would also just like to reiterate just how much I loathe my neighborhood. I have never seen so many dogs in all my life. Ugh.

Alcove

There is a fabulous restaurant/bakery very close to me called the Alcove. Its charming outdoor seating makes it perfect for the casual hang out with friends. Last night a group of us gathered there to welcome in the new semester. It occurred to me that this would be my first time eating out with a group in my new lifestyle. I'll confess, I was a bit nervous. I ate before leaving as not only did I not want to spend the money, I did not want to be tempted by the hordes of evil (yet utterly delicious) dining options that would be laid before me. I'm proud to say that I didn't flinch. Yes, the cakes and pastries looked wonderful, but I didn't all feel pressured or in any kind of pain. I ordered a cup of white bean, spinach, and leek soup, which was amazing. I suspect that it was made with chicken broth, but hey, I could have done much worse.

As I've said before, embarking on a change such as this really has to come from within - much like what it takes for someone to quit smoking or an alcoholic to reach out for help. Many are surprised to hear I would make such a drastic shift, but really this has been a long time coming. For weeks if not months before this all started I was feeling clogged up and run down by all the shit I was putting in my body. I have reached a point where I am ready to focus on feeling good rather than on what tastes good, so really it has not been that difficult to make good decisions.

I also want to make it clear that I am not forcing myself to eat anything I don't like. I can't think of a quicker way to fall off the wagon than to construct a lifestyle full of shit you don't want to eat. One of the reasons I felt so compelled to take this on is because I truly enjoy 98% of the foods one should be eating all the time: nuts, berries, whole grains, broccoli, sweet potatoes, hummus, beans, oily fish, etc. I also don't drink alcohol, coffee, and I don't smoke. I have all I need to be taking care of myself. So why the hell not.

Vegan?

I really didn't expect my embarking on this quest for better health to lead me on a path to veganism, but I find myself seriously studying the trail map (god what horrible metaphors). It seems like such an absurd notion, me a vegan. I'm not at all convinced that it's a lifestyle I want to commit to. I refuse to be one of those people who is never invited to dinner parties because my diet is such a pain in the ass to deal with. I have always loathed those people. Bringing their own foods into the college cafeteria. What the fuck. Still, I find myself spending loads of time wandering through Whole Foods, looking at all their products and thinking what could substitute for all the ingredients I'm used to using. It's total madness.

Secretly, I've always sort of envied those who embrace a totally natural lifestyle. It's like they are free in so many ways. Not enslaved to the mainstream, not tempted by all that offers comfort to so many, concerned only with what is good for their bodies and for the earth. Of course our society condemns such beliefs as "unAmerican". But when you think about it, it really is commendable: take care of yourself. Isn't that inspiration enough?

Soy

Ok, so I've purchased Soy Milk. Clearly I'm taking this seriously. Also, today I was out and about in Santa Monica and decided I wanted something warm, so I got a Chai Tea latte... made with soy milk!!!! Sweet christ. We'll see how long this lasts. ;-)

I gotta say, so far I don't miss anything I've given up. I feel really good not having any dairy. I don't feel stuffed or uncomfortable. So far so good.

Skinny Bastard

So I was at the USC bookstore to pick up a baseball cap for my cousin. Being USC, one floor of the bookstore is like a Barnes and Noble with hordes of non-textbooks from all subjects. I happen to wander through a random aisle when a book caught my eye. It was titled "Skinny Bastard", and was apparently a male version from the authors of "Skinny Bitch". I read the back and flipped through the first few pages and thought, what the hell, I can use all the help I can get. Little did I know what an impact this book would have.

I had planned to cut back on dairy, and perhaps stick to just chicken breast for any sort of meat, but this book has me considering an entirely vegan lifestyle. Though I somehow doubt I will ever be able to be a true vegan, I am certainly moved to make another commitment:

Commitment #5: I will not eat meat.

Shocking, I know, but if nothing else I am curious as to how not having any meat will make me feel. Besides, the authors of the book make a very convincing case against meat products. If I find I can comfortably live without it, then there's no reason I shouldn't. Let's see how it goes.

Alton to the Rescue

If you know me, you know my food network hero is Alton Brown. Here on the second day of my new life, Alton has a show in which he shares how he was able to drop 50 pounds in 9 months without doing any sort of diet, but rather changing his dietary makeup, much as I have set out to do. In his typically brilliant fashion he compartmentalized his eating habits into four lists:

List 1: Eat Every Day

• Fruits
• Whole Grains
• Leafy Greens
• Nuts
• Carrots
• Green Tea

List 2: Eat 3x Per Week (at least)

• Oily Fish
• Yogurt
• Broccoli
• Sweet Potato
• Avacado

List 3: Eat Only Once Per Week

• Red Meat
• Pasta
• Dessert
• Alcohol

List 4: Never Eat

• Fast Food
• Soda (diet or regular)
• Processed Meals (TV dinners, etc)
• Canned Soups
• "Diet" Anything

He followed these guidelines religiously along with one additional rule: eat breakfast everyday, without exception. That's it. I can't tell you how excited this made me. Everything on these lists is completely doable for me. I love all vegetables, I love nuts, I can easily avoid fast food and soda, fish and avacados are my FAVORITE THINGS. I do have issues incorporating fruit into my diet, but leave it to Alton to show how he makes his morning breakfast smoothie using purple fruits and soy milk. Purple fruits happen to be ones I love (blueberries, blackberries, pomegranates, grapes) particularly when they are in smoothies. I also put in a banana, a dash of honey, and some oats. It's the perfect way for me to get my daily intake of fruit without it being painful. Hooray!

First Weigh-In

Every Sunday will be my weigh-in day, in the morning before eating or walking. I will either incorporate it into a longer post, or make one expressly for it.

Weigh-in 1: 265 pounds

Also today I went on my first walk. I discovered just how filthy and disgusting my neighborhood is. And remember, this is coming from someone who lived in Jamaica, Queens for four years. There were some dirty parts in Queens, but my neighborhood was quite lovely. Not here. Gross. Beverly Hills, here I come.

Not Dieting

Ok, so I have decided to embark on a mission to change my lifestyle. No, I'm not going on a diet, because diet implies that it at some point will end and I will return back to my original unhealthy ways. It further implies that my only goal is to lose weight. Not really. The reason I've decided to do this is not because I loathe my body and want to change it. What I loathe is the way I've been feeling: full, clogged, lethargic, uncomfortable. It's almost as if I can feel my body being unhealthy. That can't be good.

Since I enjoy writing, I felt that having a blog would be a good way to vent my discoveries, frustration, landmarks, and also help me keep myself on track. I have no timeline in mind, in fact I'd like to keep it going indefinitely. My hope is that the act of blogging combined with all my efforts will keep me inspired. Though this blog is public, I'm writing it for myself. If someone happens to stumble upon it and get inspired, super.

Here goes!

The Plan

Here are the facts. I am 5'7" and weigh 265 pounds. A healthy body mass index (bmi) is between 18.5-24.9. My weight and height give me a bmi of 41.5.... Shit. Definitely time for changes.

First and foremost: physical activity. Never in my life have I been prone to any sort of movement. I loathe sports, I loathe running, I love video games and playing the piano. Not a good combination. I need something to get me moving and burning calories. I know myself well enough to know I will not drive myself to the gym on a regular basis. The one thing that I enjoy and know I will be able to bring myself to do on a DAILY basis without any possible excuses is walking. All I have to do is put on clothes and leave my apartment.

Commitment #1: I will walk between 20-30 minutes everyday.

Ideally I will discover that walking isn't enough and I will be motivated to adopt some sort of gym routine. But for now, this is a very good place to start. I know that some people say that everyday is too ambitious, that 3-5 times a week is "more realistic". The way I see it, exercise is something I have to WANT to do everyday. If I'm making excuses and putting it off, something is wrong. Walking is fool proof, particularly in the weather of Southern California, so there is no reason why I should be

Ok next is intake. Here are some facts about me and my eating habits.

1. I have no self control whatsoever. If it's near me, I'm going to eat it.
2. Portions are perhaps my worst problem
3. Dairy is a close second. I drink milk and eat eggs and cheese like there's no tomorrow.
4. I love to bake yummy treats, luckily not just for myself.

Clearly I need to reduce the dairy, if not cut it out entirely.

Commitment # 2: I will stop drinking milk and avoid all other dairy products.

Commitment # 3: I will pay close attention to my portions and only eat just enough to be satisfied

Commitment # 4: I will not eat shitty food (fast food, refined starches, soda, deep fried, etc)

I am feeling very good about this starting plan. Once I get in the groove, I may be inspired to add more commitments and will of course post them. Yeehaw!!